…t waits with checks

When testing context cancelation behavior do not rely on context
timeouts. Use explicit checks in all such tests. In closeDB
convert the simple check for zero open conns with a wait loop
for zero open conns.

Fixes #19024
Fixes #19041

Change-Id: Iecfcc4467e91249fceb21ffd1f7c62c58140d8e9
Reviewed-on: https://go-review.googlesource.com/36902
Run-TryBot: Daniel Theophanes <kardianos@gmail.com>
TryBot-Result: Gobot Gobot <gobot@golang.org>
Reviewed-by: Russ Cox <rsc@golang.org>
Reviewed-on: https://go-review.googlesource.com/36917
Run-TryBot: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@golang.org>
Reviewed-by: Daniel Theophanes <kardianos@gmail.com>